A project in the works...

So, I wrote all this stuff and have about 60 seconds of animation to go with it, but then, as often is the case, I realized that I can't write believable dialogue. That was about a month or two ago. I haven't really worked on this since then. I can't really make my pilot episode until I have the voice recording done, and I can't do the voice acting until I have dialogue that isn't so stupid and amateur. Hopefully I'll just suck it up and start working on it again soon, even with the crappy dialogue, but just in case any ambitious writers out there happen to read this; Join forces with me! I need a wee bit of help...





“The Unexamined Life…” [Working Title]

Possible titles
“The Unexamined Life…[is not worth living]” – Socrates
“[man is]…The Cruelest Animal” – Nietzsche
“[life is]… A Zoo In A Jungle” – Peter Devries
“Rough-Draft” – maybe I should just call it that…

Project
Cartoon Series… I’ll either make one fifteen minute long pilot episode, or fifteen or so 3 to 4 minute long short cartoons for the web. Even the most of my animated projects are like three minutes long, it won’t be hard to make it that long with the same intro and credits for each one every episode / Recycling animations and art of characters and settings each episode / using a lot of dialogue with limited animation as opposed to no dialogue and lots of animation.

Show Aim
Use show to bitch and rant about America and Americans. Each episode can get progressively crazier and more far-stretched as the storyline delves deeper into retarded conspiracy theories. At the end of the season it could get to the point of New World Order concentration camps and all hysteria and the world could be destroyed. That could leave season two open for a setting of a post apocalyptic future.

Show Synopsis
A zombie moves in with a vampire and a werewolf. All kinds of zany cookieness ensue. Zombie is a stupid jackass and vampire is cool intellectual. The classic “odd couple” scenario… Werewolf can just be the funny one or something? The house they live in is a big stereotypical haunted house/mansion awkwardly located right in the middle of a major U.S. city [perhaps a generic Manhattan].

Generic Episodes Outlines
What’s Wrong with Americans:
1. Pilot
2. Pharmaceuticals
3. Beauty/Cosmetics/Fashion
4. Environment
5. Media/Television
What’s Wrong with America:
6. Oil companies
7. Food/Seed/Gene splicing
8. Weapons Contractors
9. Politics/Politicians
10. International Bankers
11. Government Concentration Camps
12. New World Order

Reoccurring Episode Things
• Social Statement
• Conspiracy Gibberish
• Can show how they became monsters [One each episode]
• Can show them hunting/gathering/consuming humans [Once each episode]
• Perhaps Fictitious Physics? Maybe alternate dimensions, physical and temporal. [Reoccurring theme, not necessarily each episode]

Character Descriptions
• Zombie – Normal Voice. Recently Undead, living homeless since he woke up behind a dumpster. Being recently undead, he’s probably curious about the monster world.
Possible names:
Zomboy, Xomboy,?? stupid
• Vampire – Slightly European Accent. Nobility of some type. William Cavendish, Duke of Devonshire perhaps? Undead since 1500 – 1600ish. Full of knowledge about the undead world because he’s old as shit.
Possible names:
Magus, Lucius, Lucien, Darien, Darius, Albrecht, Roark, Lord William Cavendish; Duke of Devonshire,
• Werewolf - Gruff voice [teeth clenched]. Undead since 1800 – 1875ish. Maybe he used to be an artist or a poet or something? Perhaps base his character around Henry David Thoreau / Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Possible names:
Raleigh, Rasputin, Elliott
• Mummy – Dry raspy whisper or perhaps words recorded backwards then reversed. Undead since 1500 BCE. Tomb opened in 1891 A.D. Perhaps based on pharaoh Ahmose, who founded the first kingdom. Last to have a pyramid. Perhaps He’s there landlord and it could develop into a plot twist later. They have to pay him rent in the form of human sacrifices…
Possible names:
Ahmose
• Frankenstein – Deep voice. Perhaps lowered a few notes. Witty, Sophisticated, well read and well spoken, like Frankenstein’s monster from the book. Smart, Sad, Lonely.
Possible names:
There’s only one Frankenstein’s monster…
• Igor – Igor voice. Not undead, actually a hideous human that became a part of the undead world due to rejection from humanity [like that hideous creature from the movie ‘300’].

Extra Random Ideas to Use:
• Perhaps as a plot twist later in the series they could find out more about their landlord mummy. Perhaps vampire assumes he is naïve, his tomb only having been opened in 1891. Later you really find out that he is a 3,500 year old, ancient evil fuck who is manipulating them. Perhaps while they only consume their human bodies as nourishment, he has been using their human sacrifices [rent] to consume the human souls and is growing vastly powerful. He could turn out to be an enemy for a little bit, but then later they could reunite to do battle against the New World Overlords.
• Yet another Opportunity for a plot twist later, Zombie is the only one that doesn’t remember his human life or know how he became a monster. Like becoming a zombie gave him amnesia for some reason? Perhaps he was the result of some experiment by the New World Overlords or something to that effect.
• Develop two more sets of characters.
1. A group of average humans [perhaps neighbors] through which the perspective of oblivious pathetic humans can occasionally be portrayed for some kind of comedic value. Julia expressed willingness to help with them; perhaps she could develop them [Characters info, Aesthetic style, etc.].
2. “the Antagonists” or ‘villains’ of the show. Perhaps they could just refer to themselves as “the Antagonists” or “the New World Overlords”. These people are international bankers. There aren’t more than 12 or 13 of them. They own everything on earth. Each one of them individually is richer and more powerful then any sovereign nation. Each with a private army of freaked out gene spliced clone soldiers whom they’ve be able to create through their extensive research and development branches or whatever is a logical reason… the leader could be a truly amazingly evil bastard, like a cross between a gigantic satanic demon and a really creepy children’s clown… devil clown… or maybe kind of like Balo, the fire clown from Moorecocks multiverse. Possible name; Mephistopheles? [note to self: read faust?]
• Possible Character Names for New World Order Overlord:
Belthasar, Melchoir, Gaspar, Iffarit, bahamut, baphomet

• Use their butler Igor’s story in the episode about beauty/fashion/cosmetics, as he is a human, rejected by humanity. It could be his version of the “how they became a monster/1 each episode” thing I wanted to do.
• Zomboy finds someone from his mysterious past before he died, his father say. He approaches his dad and starts a heart breaking spiel. He is telling his dad he loves him and asking what happened before he died. Then it shifts to his fathers perspective and you see that zomboy is really moaning and making horrible zombie noises instead of talking. Dads all like, “what the fuck”

Other Relatively unimportant thing for me to consider remembering
• Werewolf can have bachelor pad room design, cinder block bookshelves, pictures of half naked women, empty liquor bottles, etc., Vampire can have gothic room design with a coffin, maybe some unnecessary flying buttresses coming out of his walls, perhaps some hooks hanging from chains arbitrarily attached around the ceiling [can be roosting spots for when he turns into a thousand bats {is roosting a real word or am I totally high?], boarded up windows and many a cob webby candelabra. Zombie can just inherit Frankenstein’s room when he move out, which could basically be like a mad science lab, or something to that effect.
• Develop some female characters… if that doesn’t work, perhaps try the creature from the black lagoon? Hahaha.
• Monster Manor [or whatever it will be called] can get toilet papered one episode and later you realize it was because the mummy got attacked by the cities over abundant population of shit head pigeons.
• Instead of making fun of humans, the show can just make fun of monsters, as there society is riddled with the same problems as modern American society. Monsters are all on pharmaceutical drugs, consumed by television, etc. perhaps just everyone powerful could be a monster, including politicians, corporate fat cats, even the “new world overlords”, it’s common knowledge amongst them, but humans are unaware they hold all positions of power. Perhaps before the “new world overlords” are introduced it can just show the system of powerful monsters as it is in America, chaotic and jumbled with nothing getting accomplished, at fist glance, then you realize it’s all a very complicated web woven by the “new world overlords”.
• Drake; remember that short, failed attempt at a screenplay you wrote back in like 2005, where in a group of teenagers eat some mushrooms and then one of them became a zombie and know body knew cause they were all tripping, the zombie included. Well one episode or another [later on in the series when you are totally washed up on ideas], here’s your chance to finally get to make your “tripping zombie” crappy movie idea into a reality.
• Vampire could reminisce about the good old days, like back in the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries, when a vampire didn’t have a care in the world
• If I do a pilot of a longer show, pitch it to adult swim and places like that, if it’s a series of short cartoons pitch it as a “web exclusive” type of stupid thing for some website.
• I’m not smart or clever, or better at anything then anyone else, learn, assimilate, use and credit as many sources as possible. Eternal reference to things I might not even fully understand. Everyone loves an obscure reference when they feel that not many other people would get or appreciate the reference.
• Since I no longer have a drum set in Tampa, I can just use drumming on tables and such for beats, plus it would sound really cool anyways. That and my acoustic guitar / Julia’s piano. Then for the second season when I get my music equipment back I could record a version of the music with drumset / electric guitar.
• perhaps “dark matter”, “dark energy” or “anti-matter” could be the new world overlords equivalent of magic or alchemy

Things for me to figure out
• Name that they refer to themselves as, similar to but nor the word monsters, such as “ancient ones” “outsiders” “old blood” “black blood” or simply “the undead”.
• Names for characters, the show its self, the house the live in, etc.

Pilot Episode [Rough Draft in Progress]
The scene opens with Werewolf and Frankenstein yelling at each other about living issues.
WW: “You always eat all of my food out of the refrigerator”
Fr: “Well at least I don’t clog up the drain every time I shower”
WW: “Yeah, that’s right big guy, just walk away”
WW [aside to V]: “We have got to get a new roommate”
Frankenstein Mopes in
Fr [to V]: “I can take no more of this, I apologize but I am moving out”
WW: “Good, Finally that decomposing dead flesh smell will go away”
Frankenstein mopes out
V: “Well I suppose we’ll have to get a new room mate”
The next scene shows Vampire typing at a computer
WW: “I don’t see why we need to get a new room mate anyways”
V: “I told you, we need help filling our quota”---Interrupted
WW: “And I can’t believe you’re posting a wanted add on Greg’s List, it’s like, a bunch of stalkers on there”
V: “Oh just shut up, will you? [Soliloquy] “I can hardly blame Frankenstein”
The scene shows the main foyer / front door area, the doorbell is ringing. Perhaps some dialogue about “expecting company” or “being on good behavior”. Anyways, Igor opens the door and some total goth douche is standing there.
V: “May I Help You”
GuyDouche: “Uh.. Yeah Hi, I’m responding to the add on Greg’s lists about a roo---”
‘BONK’ – Werewolf hits him in the face with a frying pan and he falls to the floor in an unconscious heap
WW: “There is no way that douche is moving in with us”
V: “Ah, I told you not to do that kind of thing”
Blah blah blah, more dumb dialogue a few more people come to the door and each is progressively rejected faster. Perhaps the last time around, Werewolf could just open the door and plunge his claws deep into the abdomen of the unsuspecting fucktard at the door. When all hope seems lost and they are just sitting about the house the doorbell rings one last time. The door is opened upon a shadowy figure, stepping into the light to reveal Zombie.
V: “Welcome, Come in…”
Bum Buh Bum BUUUUUH! Ominous and then cut away to Commercial Break!
Maybe more stuff needs to happen in between before the Show Resumes.
Vampire, Werewolf and Zombie are sitting around a fine dining table, eating the remains of the people who knocked on the door.
V: “Then it’s all settled, you can move in immediately. “
Z: “Thank you”
WW: “So what’s your story anyways kid?”
Z: “What do you mean?”
WW: “Well I can tell you are recently undead, so what happened?”
Z: “Oh, right. Well, I don’t really know exactly, I just woke behind a Burger King one day and I was like this. I guess that was probably about six month ago or so. Ever since then I’ve just been living on the streets, inhabiting alley ways and living on bums.”
WW: “That Sounds like a rough time. How did you ever find your way here?”
Z: “I was a the library looking up porn when I stumbled across your advertisement on Greg’s list. I thought it was a joke at first but I was so desperate I figured I’d just try it anyways. Nice post by the way, didn’t the phrase ‘Looking for an undead roommate’ seem slightly obvious to you?”
V: “I thought it would keep most of the humans from responding, although it did attract some ridiculous people”
WW: “Yeah, It was okay, we got this sweet meal out of it.”
Blah blah dialogue perhaps a scene change, after dinner around a fire with glasses of wine
Z: “I still can’t believe all of this, you guys are the first undead people I’ve met since I woke up that day. So you are supposed to be a vampire right?”
V: “Indeed”
Z: “And you’re obviously a Werewolf, right?”
WW: “You see, that’s actually a common misconception. I’m really more of a wolf-man, but no, that’s just fine, you can call me a werewolf.”
Z: “That’s pretty cool, but what am I supposed to be, a zombie I suppose?”
V: “It would appear that way.”
Z: “Man, I got gypped, but still, this is so cool. I can’t believe monsters exist”
WW: “Yeah well we do exist, and we prefer the term ‘undead’, you dick. And it’s probably not as cool as you think. It’s not all just killing people and drinking and partying.”
Scene changes to show quick montage of them partying and murdering humans brutally, end montage with ‘3 weeks later’ or something and show vampire
V: “Seriously though…”
Pan over to Werewolf chowing down on dead bodies.
WW: “I’m sorry, what did you say? I had my head phones in.”
Camera shows Werewolf put his headphones back in from his perspective and start eating again, with his headphone music rocking something crappy like Risk Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ or something.