I can't stop writing yet, after lots of private writing.... so it's obviously blogging time...
Well hello again, dear ****imaginary reader*, and prepare to be entranced, by my weirding ways...
it's time for installment seventeen. It's that time of the year for me again.... when about tri-annually I need to barf out a whole wretched heap of drake pudding... What else is there to do, I've been talking to inanimate objects all day anyways, the computer is just another in a long line of uninterested house hold appliances... hahaha... Man, see, that's half the problem... no body else, I imagine, thinks its very funny, hahaha but I think it's pretty damn funny...
Ok so... wait... the purpose was... err... oh right... to update you about what I do.... because I don't facebook very much, or have friends very much... This is like my 'public journal'...
my pubic journal... I don't like the social networks, so this is my lonelyface.com or whatever... ok shit... i've been drinking so i want to branch off from here in twenty directions, here are the bullet points, so i remember later what the hell i was thinking
- Music information
- Job stuff
- Lonelyface.com
- Free association rant
- Haiku or something else, for shits and giggles?
- My weekend>?
- In summation/youtube/ whatever else
Before I start in on all this though, my mind has been wandering whilst bulleting... damn, i usually edit myself better than this, but i feel like if i don't type as quickly and stupidly as i can, i'll never be word satiated.... ok so anyway, Fuck all this stuff... My life and it's updates are boring as shit and irrelevant to anyone except me!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to talk about stuff that I think might actually be important.... like, I've been wanting to rant about religion and politics and philosophy, and god only knows what else... and i've tried several times over the last month... I re-read a lot of my un-published blog posts and they are great... The problem is... i have this job, and I don't want to get fired... so maybe I should just shut the fuck up, and sit on all my horrible dooms day sooth saying... I mean, seriously though, you thought the shit that I ended up putting on here was bad? there could be a whole subterranean level of hell reserved just for my unpublished blog posts, hahahaha/// Don't get me started.... also, i'm not smart enough to want to publish those thoughts... they change every five minutes, and they're substantiated by no more than mystical gut feelings, so whats the point of writing it anyway, i guess... So, now on to business...
1}}} Music Information
When I started the blues project in august of last year, I set a deadline of january 1st 2011 for the completion date, and I worked like a fiend to get there on time too... HAHAHA! If i'd have realized how incredibly naive of me this was! I thought i'd just do this little blues project in three or four months... Thank god I didn't end up forcing it out, just to meet that retarded deadline! This project is insane, and has taken on a life of it's own! It can never be stopped, and it will never end, because this project is the story of my damned life, so it will never end, while my heart still beats... HAHAHA!!!! Right? I know its ludicrous and retarded, and regrettable, like the rest of my life. but HA! I'll still be laughing while I die, and all the dumbasses of this world will eat their ice cream and watch their 'grey's anatomy' or their 'bones' or 'house' or 'scrubs' or 'road rules' or 'jersey shoreline' or whatever the fuck is current... probably not that stuff, hahaha, but none the less. I do not feel unconsoled...double negative As much as I rag on myself, I really think everyone else are the weird bastards and I'm the only normal one...
I think this project is realistically another four... five... six months away.... It's getting better and better... I don't want to short change it... In fact, I love this project... When it's finally finished, i don't expect anyone to give a fuck, because realistically, i only know two or three people who actually listen to the musical genre, 'the blues'.... But, when it's finally finished, months later, I think I'll be proud of it... atleast I hope I can say that... [I better take singing lessons first, hahaha]
2}}} Job Stuffs
Well what the hell... I work so much ever since I got this new job... I feel like work is becoming more real than my time after work... I spend probably just as much time there as I do at home, and I find myself thinking about those work people when I get home some times... It sucks... I'm like 'GET OUT OF MY HEAD, YE BASTARDS!, ARRRGGGG' was that like a pirate? unintentional. Haha, infact, when I said that thing about how those people should get out of my head out loud, two separate people were like "I think that you call those people friends" hahahahaha.... funny coincidence... anyway... I don't know what to do there... i'm like a big ole socially inept whacky-waving-inflatable-arm-tube-man... I think the quality of my work is good? but still I wonder about my presentation to the people who have god-like powers over me.... I don't think I can articulate my thoughts well in real time... I'm one of those, 'kicking-a-rock-after-the-fact,-because-you-know-just-what-you-should-have-said' sort of guys... A couple people from work have even mentioned reading my blog... hahaha, which makes writing any of this a bit akward, but it's ok, cause I like those good folk anyway... What is there to say about work... It's so much more decent than what i was doing prior, that it's actually terrifying... I don't want to feel content with my job, or i'll start eating ices-cream and watching 'dharma and greg' if i'm contented, as opposed to smashing up everything i love, and being a monomaniacal bastard like captain Ahab, or Howard Roark, or any of the people I love, admire, respect, or would want to be anything like.... I'm not saying I'm gonna quit, quite the contrary, i'm saying I like it very much, and have every intention of staying around for awhile while they'll continue to have me... I'm just saying, i don't want to let my being content at work prevent me from working full time at my real job, which occurs from the hours of five to nine am... I'm trying to berth a couple albums and get some animation going again... it's hard to do all that, work full time, and also have any extra curricular activity with friends at all... whatever... i'm off to topic three... if more comes later about this, i reckon i'll know what section to file it under....
3}}} LonelyFace
This will be brief because i don't give a fuck or want to write about facebook...
I just figured it was worth mentioning... I dropped off facebook... I don't like using it much.... I've already anticipated a deal with the devil though... I think I'll make my triumphant return back to facefuck soon enough.... When it's time for the blues and my other shit to happen, I will most certainly have to be a facebook person again... In fact, it may even happen sooner than that, so i can start my shameless whoring and what not... I've been considering it, but I don't know... this deserves it's own bullet... the battle between not giving a fuck if i die starving and crazy, and forcing myself to suck horrible cock and trying to promote myself, like a complete shit head.... I won't go any further... all I'm saying is, I still have my dignity right now, so fuck facebook... In a few month, maybe even a year.... at some point, i'm going to descend back into the terrible diarrhea maelstrom which is social networking...
4}}} Free Association Rant
Its far more interesting if I could step back, who gives a rats bollocks about any of this shit... My skin feels like russian snakes on cold wheel barrel mornings.... when all of this began i felt like i would never let myself be a part of it... who know where we are anymore. they haven't made a farmers almanac for this, in years! in Beards! Let me pay you in beards? It's a fine currency from where i come from... Did i Mention we also eat hank williams grandmas bikini back in those days? Yeah, we walked fifteen miles, give or take, through the bloody entrails of our conquered concubines.... and once My nursing home was in trouble... it was such a young time of night, before the third band even played... we went to unleash fauceted fire hydrant extinguishers, but to little avail... When all at once, we finally were overcome by post coital regret, we lay down in puddles of our 'breakfast tears'.. and what else is there to say really... it was just a day... just like any other day... just like every day for the rest of our god forsaken lives... It was ' the usual'... . once again... i won't even mention it tomorrow... no one would care or believe me anyway.... don't you fucking understand... it would only make sense... and my heart will always... always... and always.... so when and if you get your spatula from your house... i'll meet you at the final edge of the galaxy... an epoch so distant, i'll burn and be reborn a million times betwixt... so what now then...
i'LL keep going, i guess? I jest? LETS hope... My stuff is all wrong.. . i'm like a crumb bum... whatever that means.,.. I'm done with this, it degenerates in to nonsensical auditory pun... or fun... there it is yet again... fuck it...\\
5]]] Blanketed Meat Scallions
I won't write no shit
I dont give not another fuck
Does my gut look hard?
Ahh, damnit, it happened anyway!
6}}} My weekend
Is mine, and not worth talking about!, there had to be one more thing to blather on about... my head was so filled with shit earlier i couldn't even finish a sentence, and now its so devoid, i might actually sleep tonight... or perhaps thats the spirits.... thats the spirits talking and helping lull me to bed... I only entertain thoughts of writing this shit when i'm drunk... sober me knows that i shouldn't.... I say a lot of nothing... a lot of incriminating nothing.... no whatever.... i'm word satiated.... i'll write a conclusive paragraph and then do something more productive... like play guitar, or go to sleep, hahaha...
27}}} In summation...
This terrible crap would never pass QA.... I feel like I should upload a guitar video or a picture of one of my paintings or my ass or something... I might upload more guitar videos soon. I know i said i was done being a self indulgent bastard, but what the hell, it makes me happy, so what do i care, if i revel in my suckery.... The 'client' needs more stimulating media to be interested, my words alone do not suffice...
Ooh, also, i'm celebrating... I just noticed my Youtube channel has a total video's view number of like 130,000 or some crazy shit like that!!! when did that happen? haha i know in the grand scheme of things, thats not a very big number, but it's still a little bit neat i think, the last time i checked it was probably more like 10,000... and also like four years ago.... hahaha, cause who gives a fuck or keeps track of that lame shit?
In closing: So now dear reader, i leave you with a final thought, and a note i appended to the end of this 'rondom' rant right as I wrote the very first sentence or two... And the final thought is this; fear not in my absence... The blues project continues to stomp the balls of oxen bulls... If I do not write, it's because my words are impotent, and fall on deaf ears, while the actions i store in my muscle memory alone, are worth a thousand fold trying to explain what i've been doing.... What i'm doing when i'm not doing the blues project is good too, although its too early to talk about it.... Before my heart stops and I croak, I'll be damned proud of myself, so with any luck, it won't be for a little while yet... and even when the blues project, the 'cd' is released, i intend to make videos for the songs, so it will keep going indefinitely, anyway..... Maybe I'll add pizzazz to this blog tomorrow or the next day.... Maybe I won't update it for a few months.... Who knows... But I have high expectations for the future, either way.... Assuming I'm granted enough time on earth to complete my work, I expect none to care, but I alone, will be a smiling corpse, like a pirate skeleton, fetally curled around a chest, rich of dab-loons... When it's found in a distant future, the value will be placed on an archaeological scale, not a contemporary popularly cultural one... Isn't that just an adorablly confident thing of me to say?... [and conjugated all wrong as well?]
hahahaa
thank you,
and goodnight,
dear reader
If you bore with me this long....
You must share a similar affinity for the madness that consumes the both of us....
As i assume I would be illegal to drive right now, so too should it also be illegal for me to blog,
but good lord, you're a good listener, and I give merit where it's due... Thanks be to you... I've been diligently plucking out this retarded manifesto of my incoherence for I assume at least thrice the duration it took you to read it... By that logic, it was even more terrible for me to type it then for it to be sped read, quickly digested and forgotten, by you... At least I hope its that way friends, because i'd bear the brunt of this burden, since it were mine to give... {{{{holy shit.... i must be writing about something so hypothetical it doesn't even matter, or make sense anymore}}} good night then, my happy children! I guess i Love you all... who ever the hell you are!
**** My idea of the 'imaginary reader' is never a good thing... it's never some bleeding heart, that reads my words, identifies, and feels empathy, perhaps, dare I say, a mutual bond of humanity? No... I durst not.... look it up... [durst is dare in past tense, I just learned that the other day, thanks to my brother... {i assume it's common knowledge, but wow, it's news to me!}]... ok, so, I digress... My idea of the imaginary reader is always someone who I have to explain myself to... some one who has the power to fuck me over... a potential mate, employer, friend, business partner, etc... ... this tangent... maybe I'll add more to it later, for now though, back to the bulk of the text
